Standing Tall: How To Defend The Woman In Your Life

Well let’s talk about it Gents. The infamous “slap heard around the world”.

Background

The Oscars is a award ceremony held to honor actors, actresses, and films in general. It’s a very formal occasion in which attendants come dressed in fine clothing such as suits, tuxedos, dresses, and gowns.

Although there is a high sense of formality, the people who run the Oscars ceremony also work to keep the mood light and enjoyable for all.

One way they do this is by having a comedian present during the event. This has been somewhat of a tradition over the years.

The presenter of this year’s Oscar’s was the well- known comedian Chris rock. On this night it was his job to make people laugh while also presenting various things throughout the night.

*Dramatic music plays

And this brings us to the altercation between Chris Rock and famous actor Will Smith.

The Altercation

I’ll try and give you the highlights of the story for time’s sake.

Rock made a joke about Smith’s wife having the hairstyle of a woman enlisted in the military. In other words, she had a shaved head .

(But what Rock may not have known is that Smith’s wife suffers from a condition called Alopecia. It’s a autoimmune disease known for causing hair loss).

This joke (however it may have been intended) was told in front of a reported 16.6 million viewers. He was quite literally adding insult to injury.

Smith himself initially laughed at the joke, but then something within himself changed.

He got up out of his front row seat, approached Rock (who was on stage), and slapped (assaulted) him in front of those same 16.6 million viewers.

With all that said I’ll quickly list a few opinions I’ve heard about this situation. Then I’ll move right into the lessons we can all learn from this.

Various Opinions

• Some people who have life-threatening diseases have no problem taking jokes, and even make jokes about themselves
• Chris Rock took a cheap shot at Smith’s wife when he could’ve talked about anything else
• Smith acted the way a husband should and defended his wife no matter the occasion or setting
• It’s not Rock’s responsibility to be politically correct. He’s just supposed to be funny.
• And many, many more…

The Facts

I’m going to present the facts in a very plain, matter-of-fact kind of way.

• Chris Rock is a comedian. He was doing what he was hired to do.
• Most award ceremonies have a tradition of having comedians present or even host their event. Attendants know in advance they are likely to be made fun of.
• Will Smith assaulted Chris Rock because of a joke. This assault happened while Chris Rock was just doing his job as a hired comedian.
• Will Smith continued to curse out Chris Rock after the assault (all while Rock is still working).

Lessons

First let me say this.

The A Step Above Style Blog is aimed at men who want to want to be the best man they can be. Men who strive to become gentlemen.

We live by a code of integrity, respect, and principal.

Now on to the lessons.

Gentlemen, life isn’t fair. Life will not always going to go the way you want it to. Furthermore , this fact compounds when you add a second person into the equation. Namely the special lady in your life.

So you’ve finally found the woman of you dreams. She’s beautiful, intelligent, caring, and productive in all she puts her hands to.

But guess what? Life still happens. She will undoubtedly experience :

• Disrespect from strangers and even people she knows
• Unsolicited romantic advances from other men
• Unkind service at restaurants
• Drivers cutting her off in traffic
• Etc.

So the question is, what are YOU going to do in these situations? Will you:

• Fight every person who disrespects her
• “Go after” every guy who makes a comment about her beauty
• Berate the waiter/waitress who doesn’t refill your lady’s drink fast enough
• Engage in road rage when someone cuts in front of your vehicle

Bonus: And if you have a woman who would encourage such behavior from you, it’s time for a long and serious talk. Because that type of conduct should not be expected or applauded.

How To Defend Your Woman

First, you must understand that part of defending your woman is protecting her (as much as reasonably possible) from harm.

Second, remember that you win every fight you don’t engage yourself in.

When someone does something childish involving you or your lady, you must choose to be the adult.

• Think before you speak
• Consider the consequences of your actions (both moral and legal)
• Know how to walk away
• Understand the social and physical risks associated with the areas you take her ( i.e. parks, restaurants, parties, etc) .

Important: Understand that if you ever confront someone in a physical way, they get a vote in the matter too. They have every right to defend themselves if you put your hands on them.

In your mind, you may think a fist fight will solve the problem. In their mind, they may be thinking a knife or a gun will get the job done. You’re thinking of a 1 on 1 fight, while they have 3 buddies ready to join in.

So my point is getting physical with someone should always be your absolute last resort. In fact I would contend that most of us will never have to do this in our lifetime if we exercise wisdom.

As men we can defend the woman in our lives by having situational awareness, using de-escalation tactics, and by simply walking away.

Punching someone in the mouth in retaliation to something that was said or done is more likely to land you in jail rather than teach them a lesson in proper manners.

So remember you are not a teacher. You’re a boyfriend. Or a husband. A gentleman.

Conclusion

Let us always be mindful of our values, and what we stand for as gentlemen; respect, integrity, and principal.

As gentlemen we are not meant to conduct ourselves the way a average man would. We are gentlemen and must behave as such.

Let me know in the comments how you would’ve handled this situation. I want to hear from the ASAS Community!

Posted By: Jeffrey Chark · In: Personal Growth